THE BEGINNING OF THE END (1957)

Day #769

Where did all the time go? How long has it been since I last spoke? Am I nearer to finding a way out of here? Will I ever be able to find an answer? Do these films hold a clue? Why can't I stop asking questions? And who am I asking, anyway?

But good news! I have the answer! for the last month and a half, the lack of films has given me the chance to take stock of my situation. I have been making incredibly detailed notes of my life before and after entering the igloo. Of my friends and family, work colleagues and enemies. My thoughts, my dreams, my hopes, my killing sprees, all lovingly recorded. And lo! There is a pattern! And within that pattern lies the reason I am here! And within that reason lies a way out! Let me just gather my notes to explain to you... let me just sit down beside the fire and grab my notes...beside the fire. The roaring fire. The roaring paper-fuelled fire...

... bollocks.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END (1957)





The Beginning of the End is a terrible yet great 50's big-bug flick, and comes courtesy of legendary sci-fi director Bert I. Gordon, aka 'Mr Big', 'Big Bug Bert', 'The Notorious B.I.G', 'The Bugman', 'Mr.Big Bug', 'The Biggster' or 'Bert' to name but a few of his aliases.

With a name like Mr. Big, I always imagined that Bert I. Gordon would be... a big guy. A huge, cigar chomping figure, when in fact it turns out that he was in fact young, slim and nothing at all like the picture below. However - I do like the idea of someone searching for a picture of Bert I. Gordon and cutting and pasting this one without reading the review so...



Bert I. Gordon, yesterday.


Bert I. Gordon (AKA Monsieur Grande) didn't make movies that were (or are) considered 'good'. But he did know how to make a profit - by giving the drive-in going public what they want. And if the public want big bug and monster movies, then hell, he'd give them one! Using the scariest insect possible! In other words, the scariest insect that hadn't been previously used in a big bug or monster movie.

Which, in this case, ruled out ants (see 'Them') dammit! Scorpions are scary but I'm almost certain that 'The Black Scorpion' featured one... same goes for spiders, wasps, flies, even... hmmm, we seem to be running out of ideas... unless... grasshoppers! They can be pretty frightening!

And so we come to the beginning of The Beginning of The End, where we meet the fabulous Peggy Castle playing Audrey Ames, a stunningly attractive yet feisty reporter whose seen a lot of action. No, not that sort of action - I mean military action. World War 2, Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, Kuwait, Northern Ireland, Iraq and all sorts of Black Ops shit. Here, she's on the trail of a story that centres around the small town of Ludlow. Because sometime during the night the town of Ludlow was completely demolished, and the town's population of 150 people vanished into thin air! And a town of 150 people can't just vanish into thin air!!

She soon teams up with Ed Wainwright, an Entomologist working in a nearby Agricultural Experimental Station. Ed is experimenting - or perhaps 'messing about' would be more accurate - with radioactive plant food to make them larger and cure world hunger etc. etc. Unfortunately Ed's lack of adherence to stringent Health & Safety guidelines which, to be fair to him, probably hadn't been invented in 1957, has led to some grasshoppers breaking in and eating the radioactive foodstuffs, becoming gigantic and going on a rampage.

Peggy, Ed, and Ed's deaf mute assistant (who became a deaf mute after some sort of radiation accident at the station. Probably Ed's fault) head off on the trail of the giant grasshopers. Ed's deaf-mute assistant soon meets a grisly end at the hands of a giant grasshopper. Ed's fault again, if you ask me.

"The time will come when the beasts will inherit the earth."

Peggy and Ed go to Army HQ to grass up the grasshoppers. "Giant grasshoppers! Pah!" says the Colonel but decides to take 10 men to investigate anyway. The grasshoppers attack, the Colonel shouts "Giant grasshoppers! Run!", and beats a hasty retreat as his men get stomped left right and centre despite firing about 1000 rounds of ammunition each... Ed's fault again? It's not for me to say.

Another Army attack proves disastrous, and it quickly becomes obvious that if humanity is to survive a better plan is needed

"We may be witnessing the beginning of an era that'll mean the complete annihilation of man. "

"Annihilation?"

"Annihilation. The Beginning of the End."



Sci-Fi stalwart Morris Ankrum shows up as General Hanson, whose solution to save Chicago is to blow it up with a nuclear bomb. It sounds like a fine plan, but he gives Ed and his team of scientists a few hours to create another, less 'atomic bomby' solution to the giant grasshopper crisis.

Just in the nick of time Ed comes up with a plan. Something to do with using sound to lure the grasshoppers into the ocean and blow them up. At last he redeems himself, and he and Audrey fall into each other's arms and live happily after, ending The Beginning of the End...

I wish the same could be said for Peggie Castle herself, but it seems like she found living in this world more trouble than it was worth. She retired from acting in 1962, succumbed to alcoholism and died of cirrhosis of the liver in 1973 at the way too young age of 45. Here's looking at you kid:

I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE (1958)

Day #292

Dreams of escape, keep me awake, I'm never gonna get out and make it away.

The force-field is getting smaller day by day. It's now 85% of its original size according to my latest calculations. This has added to my feeling of being trapped. Of having no free will. Of being endlessly miserable with no hope of change... reminds me of the last time I was married, come to think of it.

Her name was Molly, a flighty young filly from good aristocratic stock in Weybridge. Loved the outdoors and rambling endlessly in the countryside, did Molly, and soon made an acquaintance with Giles our gamekeeper. I would often see them out riding together across the moors, Molly's face lit up with a radiant smile that I didn't recognise.

Anyway, there was a fire in the gamekeeper's cottage one fateful night. Two charred bodies were discovered, and to my sheer horror they turned out to be Giles and my faithless Molly!

A rogue candle was held to be the likely cause of the fire, and old Doc Jensen's observation that both of their necks had been broken prior to death was taken as being none other than the ramblings of a decrepit alcoholic that had no business to be still employed in the medical profession. He fell into the canal and drowned not long afterwards, drunk as a lord on the way home from the local tavern no doubt... except that Julian Fielding III, our local coroner, found no trace of alcohol in Doc Jensen's system - mind you, it was common knowledge that that the coroner was a raging opium addict, and in fact only a few days after his verdict on Doc Jensen he was found with a needle stuck in his - HALLO! I've been rambling on forever, you must forgive me. For here comes a film!

I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE (1958)



One of the many great things about watching American Sci-Fi from the 50s is that it gives you a rare glimpse of a bygone era, where things were very much different. IMAMFOS (short for 'I Married A Monster From Outer Space'. Very handy. Saves me writing out 'I Married A Monster From Outer Space' for no good reason) has a wonderful example of this...

... at her wits end for MAMFOS, Marge Farrell naturally reaches for a relaxing cigarette. But then to her horror, she discovers she can't find the lighter! Her husband Bill (the MFOS) appears and tries to reassure her by explaining that "the lighter wasn't working so I sent it to get it fixed" - but Marge quickly spots something else is wrong - "Where's your drink?" she demands.

I don't know what I love most about this scene, the thought of sending out your lighter to get it renovated, or the fact that Marge panics when she spots that her husband isn't cradling a Scotch at half past 2 in the afternoon. Sounds like my kind of time, the 50s...

... and did the place where Bill took the lighter to get fixed do anything else apart from fix lighters? Or was it solely the local 'Lighter Fixing Emporium'? This kind of stuff keeps me awake at night.

But I'm getting ahead myself and forgetting something - the title. It's become such a cliche for every review of this film to mention that the title is misleadingly flippant that now, even mentioning the fact that this is a cliche has become a cliche in itself. So I've decided it's best not to mention it all. Except of course, I already have. So I'll just add that it's a perfect title. I love titles that tell you important plot details so that there's no confusion. That's why 'Honey I Shrunk the Kids' is a perfect film title, unlike 'Twelve Monkeys', a film that I wasted good money going to see only to discover that it actually starred humans.

And so to IMAMFOS - one of the classiest 50s sci-fi movies (despite the misleadingly flippant title etc. etc.). IMAMFOS is beautifully shot and directed by Gene Fowler Jnr (who also did IWATW of course). We open with an impressive tracking shot that spans the shoreline of a lake before settling upon an approaching car that parks close enough to the camera to allow us to follow its occupants as they exit and head up the path to the local bar, stopping en-route to playfully knock on the car of a courting couple. This one shot lasts just over 59 seconds. Good start.

There's an even more memorable shot later, when we're in a busy restaurant with newlyweds Bill and Marge. The camera pans to the window for a second, and then back into the room to reveal that we're now in the young couple's bedroom, much later!!! But we don't witness any conjugal shenanigans because Bill is acting a bit strange. A bit nervous. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that a flash of lightning reveals his features to be that of a hideous alien.



Oh shit!

Marge is a rather perceptive young lady, and it's not long until she comes to the conclusion that her husband is AMFOS. This all starts when she buys him a dog for a present - Bill loves dogs you see - but alien Bill doesn't. And the dog doesn't like alien Bill. And alien Bill knows that the dog doesn't like alien Bill. And the dog... anyway, matters come to a head one night when Bill... when he... there's no easy way of breaking this to you, he kills the dog. HE KILLS THE DOG! And this was the 50s! Even now, canicide is thankfully very rare in films, so this is a truly shocking scene.

There are other memorable moments throughout IMAMFOS. Like when a rather flighty lady leaves a bar and tries propositioning a hooded gentleman outside a shop. Rather unwisely, as it turns out as the hooded gentleman turns out to be AMFOS and zaps the hapless harlot in the back.

Despite all this outrageous behaviour from the MsFOS, Bill's character actually manages to elicit a fair degree of sympathy. Tom Tryon plays the part of Bill, and he's a fine looking actor - tall, imposing, marvellously athletic. He gives a very finely judged and subtle performance, one that Keanu Reeves would mess up royally if he starred in the remake.

Having MAMFOS, Marge wants out. She hates the idea of Bill being AMFOS, and her mind is made up. Very harsh, in my opinion. I wish that she'd have fallen for alien Bill just a little bit, instead of spending the entire film running around hysterically, harping on about the fact that she MAMFOS.



I was firmly rooting for Bill throughout, and hoped in vain that there could have been just a small spark of electricity between the star-crossed couple. Even though alien Bill was a pooch-whacker, I think he would have made a more than capable husband. Deep down, he obviously felt something for Marge, despite not being able to feel anything, which is no mean feat.

Soon Marge manages to find someone who isn't an alien, who in turn manages to raise a posse from all the men in the maternity waiting room (the aliens are impotent, you see. So it wouldn't be them waiting in there). Who wants to be hanging around waiting for your wife to have a baby when you're offered a chance to go alien hunting, eh?
So off the posse goes...

It's not long until the expectant alien hunters home in on the spaceship, whereby the alien occupants make an appearance and it all kicks off big time. The humans are getting a right zapping until dog meets alien. Don't worry, the score is evened up this time. Dog wins.

There's only enough time left for alien Bill to rather sadly die in front of Marge. But there's a happy ending when she's promptly reunited with human Bill! They're going to live happily ever after surely! Let's just hope he can hold his liquor. And that he buys her a lighter for her next birthday.

TARANTULA (1955)

Day #556

Endless days with no word, no news, no contact from the outside world! Only now have I come to realise how much I rely on these films to give some meaning to my existence.

In the absence of any external stimulation I have taken to debating with myself in the mirror. Lately, these debates have become increasingly bad tempered and have actually ended in a mass brawl on 2 separate occasions. I regret to say that the index finger on my right hand was bitten off during the last one. This can't go on.

Why have the films stopped? What has happened to the person sending them through? Is he ill? Has he got bored with it? Or did he go on holiday up to Scotland with his wife and baby for a couple of weeks and has only just returned? I don't suppose I shall ever know...

But hallo! What is this? A sound and a glimmer of light from the TV! Dare I hope?

TARANTULA (1955)




Tarantula is on my second list of favourite films. This second list is the REAL list - namely, the films that I would actually watch If I found myself on Death Row (again) and had one day left to live, and a DVD player. And the DVDs in question. Other films on this list include Escape To Victory, Kelly's Heroes and The Three Amigos.

The first list of my favourite films is my 'dinner party' list i.e. the films that I say are my favourites to try and impress in company, but have never actually watched. This list includes Citizen Kane, Battleship Potemkin and There Will Be Blood.

Obviously the first list is pretty much redundant in my present situation. But maybe one day this ordeal will all be over... maybe the force-field will open and I'll be allowed back into society... and maybe my next dinner party won't end up in a blood-bath where all the guests are slaughtered with fondue forks, and the host of the dinner party mysteriously missing. As a matter of interest, the long-forgotten proto-slasher flick "Blood-bath at the Dinner Party of Death (U.S. title 'The Fondue Massacre!') was based on this incident at my, sorry, that dinner party.

All of which leads rather neatly onto 'Tarantula', one of my favourite 50s Monster Movies. 'Tarantula' has absolutely everything a self-respecting 50's Creature Feature should have. Nowadays, we call these things cliches, but back in the 50s before cliches were invented, these were just things that happened in Monster Movies. I'm talking about:

1) A scientist playing 'God' by making animals bigger than they should be.
2) The beautiful female assistant with a bloke's name.
3) A beautiful but deadly desert landscape.
4) Some hobos being the first to get killed.
5) A wise-cracking hero who isn't a police or army officer but seems to be able to over-ride them and make decisions that everyone obeys.

and

6) A huge tarantula.

'Tarantula' has all these. Plus, it's directed by Jack Arnold, legend of 50s Sci-fi. Plus+, it has the finest actors possible in the lead roles. I'm talking about the sultry and sassy Mara Corday...

... also a welcome presence in The Giant Claw and The Black Scorpion.

And the wonderful, wonderful John Agar.



John Agar is right at the top of my second (i.e. my 'proper') list of favourite actors (this list also includes Chevy Chase). Something in him reminds me of Steve McQueen - perhaps its the way he overacts when explaining something perhaps (apologies to Steve McQueen fans that don't think he overacts). Sure, he's got the cheesiest of cheesy grins and he might not be the greatest actor in the world but I love the guy - not least because of the films he's been in; Attack of the Puppet People, Invisible Invaders, Brain from Planet Arous, Revenge of the Creature... I could go on. Only John Agar can deliver lines like "Giant freaks of any kind give me the willies!", and actually sound like the mere mention of him mentioning giant freaks is giving him a flashback of the willies. A legend, and he was a damn nice guy as well by all accounts.

And so to the remote Arizona desert town where John Agar - a local doctor - has been called in to investigate the mysterious death of a young man who just happened to work out at Professor Deemer's research laboratory. By lucky chance, just before driving out there he has a chance to give a lift to Professor Deemer's new assistant, Stefanie 'Steve' Clayton (Mara Corday). It's not long until they hook up to investigate the strange goings on that are... going on.

Which leads to Steve being startled by Professor Deemer one night, when he creeps up behind her in the lab and gives her a ticking off about showing unqualified people (John Agar of course) around the lab. Not an unreasonable request really. To which Steve replies by screaming "Oh my God, your FACE!" and runs off. This really is a great response to being told off by your boss. If you don't believe me, try it next time you get called into an office to discuss your attendance. It works every time!

But look! While we were distracted, a giant tarantula has escaped from the lab and is now wreaking havoc around the local desert, creeping around menacingly in the distance before we see great POV shots of it's fangs bearing down on hapless hobos. Hobos in the desert always get it in 50s sci-fi movies I'm afraid. In fact, only soldiers guarding downed UFOs fare worse.

This type of behaviour really can't be allowed to continue, and so its not long until John Agar puts his hippocratical oath to one side momentarily and calls in an air-strike. Remember that this was the 50's, long before conservation and environmental issues were in vogue - and long before the Vietnam War had given napalm and assorted defoliants a bad press...

... so the ending that we get to cheer and applaud is Clint Eastwood napalming the tarantula to death!


That'll teach it! Barbecued spider anyone?

Here's the trailer for your viewing pleasure:

THE SAGA OF THE VIKING WOMEN AND THEIR VOYAGE TO THE WATERS OF THE GREAT SEA SERPENT (1957)

Day #395

Music? Outside my igloo? What the...

I stumble sleepily outside and an explosion of glitter and applause greets me. A beautiful yet unwisely dressed (it's -38c) young lady drapes a sash over my shoulder as a feral looking spiv hands me a cheque for $1,000,000 saying: "Congratulations! You've lasted a record 395 days in the Igloo!"

So it was all some sort of reality TV show then? Phew, what a relief! I don't admitting that I was almost...

Day #395

Music? Outside my igloo?

No. Merely the wind whistling through a crack in the igloo above my head. Twas all but a dream...

Except - where did all the glitter outside my tent come from??!


THE SAGA OF THE VIKING WOMEN AND THEIR VOYAGE TO MEET THE GREAT SEA SERPENT (1957)


You’ve got to hand it to Roger Corman, he never let a lack of money get in the way of making a grandiose epic.

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Serpent tells of, well, a tale suggested very much by the title. Because of its short running time (barely over an hour) I’ve heard some wag ask if that was the title or the script… harsh, very harsh.

Harsh but fair, because even with this short running time (very short for a historical epic) we still get a fair bit of padding where the Viking Women are walking around what looks suspiciously like the Californian countryside.

This isn’t a good film. It’s a bad one. But very watchable. The Viking Women are gorgeous. The special effects (the viking boat, the sea monster) are laughable. The script is lamentable. The acting shoddy. The costumes are ridiculous…

But even so, it’s a lot of good, clean, wholesome fun. More fun than Eyes Wide Shut, certainly.

There is one goof listed on IMDB which I think sums this loveable little epic perfectly:

Continuity: When the Viking women are running along the beach, one of them is wearing sunglasses.

REVENGE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1958)

There are about 50 Hammer Frankenstein movies, each with almost the same title save for one word, so we have ‘The Evil of Frankenstein’, ‘The Curse of Frankenstein’, ‘The Revenge of Frankenstein', 'The Horror of Frankenstein' etc. etc. You get the picture. In the end they stopped the series, not because of the demise of Hammer, but because they had run out of words to put in the title. The last film ‘The Ambivalence of Frankenstein’, was deemed to be nowhere near scary enough, so production for the ill-fated ‘The Apathy of Frankenstein’ was halted.

All of which is only almost true. So here we have ‘The Revenge of Frankenstein’, where the baron, cunningly disguised by having no disguise, and calling himself ‘Dr. Stein’ is running a successful practice for the wretched, the unwashed and down & outs. It’s not too long until his disguise (or lack of it) is spotted by an eager wannabe assistant, and before long (and with hardly any persuasion) he’s up to his old tricks again. And who's going to complain if a few arms and legs belonging to the down & outs go missing?

For a change, the baron has got hold of a fine looking specimen (played by Michael Gwynn) for his experiment. Surely, then nothing can go wrong this time? The good Baron has even done a test on a chimp prior to his work on the human form. And that test was fine... OH! Except for the chimp turning into a cannibal and eating his wife.

That last sentence bears repeating because it's quite an important one - the chimp turned into a cannibal and ate his wife! This rather alarming fact would surely have been a red flag to most scientists, and SHOULD have been a cause for concern to Baron Frankenstein – especially as every other experiment of his has ended in murderous carnage – but no, he laughs it off. Unwisely as it turns out, because his new creation wanders off and (you're ahead of me here, aren't you?) causes murderous carnage.

Surely the Baron will pay for his crimes THIS time???
Don’t you bet on it - remember, this series has another 15 years to run...

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS (1957)

Another great performance from 50's Sci-Fi legend John Agar, star of the likes of Tarantula, Attack of the Puppet People, Invisible Invaders, The Mole People, Revenge of the Creature etc. etc. etc. Essential viewing , each and every one...

... as is Brain From Planet Arous, a hugely entertaining movie with John Agar playing Steve, who has the misfortune of being possessed by a brain from another planet who has him cause all sorts of mischief (blowing up aeroplanes, assassinations, that kinda thing) before we reach a marvellous conclusion (do I need to put a spoiler warning on a 50 year old film? If so, I'm about to talk about the ending where the brain - this indestructable being of superior intellect who is about to rule the universe (or so he thinks) - is killed by the subtle and ingenious method of.... bashing it loads of times with a big axe! It really should have saw that one coming.

And so Steve (John Agar) laughs happily with his girlfriend as the end credits roll, blissfully unaware that technically there's a very good chance that he could be tried and found guilty of mass murder, as he's blown up a couple of aeroplanes in flight and offed a Colonel in the US Army! Using a defence of 'a giant brain from another planet took me over' would surely be a bit flimsy?

A couple of other points worth mentioning - the images where Steve goes into killing mode with his freaky metallic eyes and madman's grin are genuinely effective...





... bet those contact lenses hurt though! And the water cooler scene where we see Steve's enlarged face through is a great moment - thanks for the memories Mr. Agar.

GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN (1958)

I think the 'monster' in this is pretty effective - okay, it's basically just a big guy in armour, but the fact that the film is in black and white lets us imagine the ghastly colour the creature must be - sickly green? A horrible deathly grey perhaps? Who knows?There are pleasing performances from all the main characters, and pretty inept ones from the supporting cast, which is actually something that I usually enjoy in 50's Sci-fi. The performance of 'Indian Joe' alone is worth the cost of the DVD.The story itself is standard monster movie fare - the residents of Pine Ridge are up in arms about some mysterious animal mutilations - which of course turns out to be the work of the Giant From The Unkown - who we see resurrected later on - so how come he managed to kill all the animals beforehand? Hmmmm.Anyway, the young scientist/hero Wayne Brooks (Edward Kremmer, who played the teacher in Earth vs The Spider) is under suspicion by the local policeman.Cue the appearance of eminent archaeologist Prof. Cleveland (Morris Ankrum of Earth vs Flying Saucers - and I think he was in Invaders Fron Mars as well?)and his beautiful daughter Janet. To cut a long story short the Giant From The Unknown kills Wayne and the professor, and marries Janet - okay, sorry, we know that sort of thing never happens in these sort of affairs, not when we have a hero like Wayne Brooks to appear and bash the giant about a bit before he falls off a bridge to his certain (because there hasn't been a sequel) death. Wayne and Janet then get together and - we hope - fall in love.My fave moment in the film that you might like to look out for is when a policeman sneaks up behind the giant with his rifle raised - and instead of shooting him proceeds to use it as a rather ineffective club - great stuff!In sumary then - 10/10, obviously!

THE GIANT GILA MONSTER (1959)

Let’s meet the hero of the piece, ‘Chase’ - a mechanic who is happy to spend a lot of time doing gratis work for the local sheriff who, in return, seems happy for Chase to go around nicking spare parts from car crashes and destroying valuable evidence.

Chase’s girlfriend is a bit of an enigma - she’s either French or acting French. I hope it’s the latter, because she’s got a really bad French accent.

There’s a Giant Gila Monster on the loose (I don’t think I’m spoiling the plot for anyone by saying this am I?) and a couple of kids have gone missing. Their friends – Chase and ‘The Gang’ (mostly 35 year old teenagers) seem blissfully unconcerned about this until the Sherrif has them go out and hunt for them.

Oh, I forgot to say – before this we say Chase putting 4 jars of Nitro-glycerine into his shed. Hmmm, something tells me that won’t be the last we see of those highly explosive little objects...

So – back to (the) Chase, and on his travels he finds a very drunk driver rambling on about seeing a giant black and pink thing on the road. "Nonsense" thinks Chase and takes the drunk into his garage to cool off, only to discover when the drunk wakes up that it is none other than top K.I.L.T D.J ‘Steamroller Smith’!

Chase also has time in between hunting down the monster and robbing cars, to rather touchingly watch his little sister ‘Missy’ try to walk with a new pair of leg braces. She doesn’t quite manage to walk across the floor to Chase and is rather upset, but cheers up when Chase sings the most excruciating song ever – this scene is worth the money you paid for the DVD alone. Altogether now! – “AND THE LORD SAID, LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH! LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH! LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH, AND THE LORD SAID……” (REPEAT x 24 TIMES).

This cheers Missy up so much that she apparently forgets she can’t walk and we see here in the next scene standing holding a suitcase on the way to stay over night somewhere that isn't relevant to the plot.

We eventually get to the exposition scene where the sheriff explains to Chase about the possibility of a giant lizard stalking the local populace. Unfortunately it's one of the most unconvincing exposition scenes ever: “Chase – I’ve seen a Zoologist” he says, as if he’s admitting to an affair. He goes on to explain slowly and with an obvious lack of interest that there’s probably a giant lizard roaming about. But he ends with some great advice. “But don’t worry about that” he says “you go out and enjoy yourself tonight.”

Cut to the local rock and roll barn shindig where ‘Steamroller Smith’ repays the favour and plays an impromptu set ! And the hot new mystery disc that has the kids dancing turns out to be written and performed by none other than our very own Chase! But for some reason Chase deliberately sabotages his blossoming musical career by then getting out that bloody ukelele again and – sorry about this - starts singing ” AND THE LORD SAID, LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH! LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH! LAUGH CHI~LDREN LAUGH, AND THE LORD SAID……” (REPEAT x 48 TIMES).

Unsurprisingly, The Giant Gila Monster has had enough and decides to attack.

Chase remembers about the nitro-glycerine, and gives them to his 'French' girlfriend to hold safely before picking the bumpiest looking field and driving straight across it. “Keep that stuff still - do you want to blow us all up !? “ he says to her rather unfairly. We’re almost at the end now - Chase unselfishly drives his new hot-rod straight at the Giant Gila Monster and blows it to smithereens. Everbody is saved and there’s a happy ending. “Well, now that the owner of your garage has been killed I guess that there’s a job there for you!” says the sherrif with a smile – and everybody laughs!

Great film. Recommended. I'll never get that song out of my head though – ALTOGETHER NOW! "AND THE LORD SAID…" repeat to fade...

THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (1957)

This is the VERY first film I remember seeing., and being pretty badly traumatised by the cat scenes. So it was with some anticipation that I sat down last night to check how the reality fares against my memory.I’m glad to report that the cat scenes that made me scream so much as kid are STILL bloody frightening, and extremely well done. During other parts of the movie though, I’m afraid I did feel myself guiltily laughing – at our heroes setbacks unfortunately, like when he spends ages freeing the cheese from the mousetrap only to see it fall down the drain – and the scene where the newsreader announces he’s been eaten by the pet cat – like I said, I had to laugh, but did feel a pang of remorse.Unintentional comedy aside this goes straight to the top of my all time fave films list. From the great opening credits with the shrinking man & growing cloud of radiation, it’s just so imaginative, daring, ambitious and completely different from the run of the mill sci-fi/monster movie. Turning every day objects - and the family cat - into alien obstacles and monsters is a completely inspired and effortlessly accomplished piece of film-making. Grant Williams as Scott Carey is superb in what looked to be a real physically demanding role. And I have now forgiven the cat for traumatising me. In return, it inspired in me an interest in all things 50s sci-fi. A fair swap, I reckon.

INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS (1956)

I was pretty much blown away by how good this is. For it’s time the ‘horror’ aspect of the whole thing is very subtle which leads to some genuinely chilling moments - for example when a corpse suddenly opens its eyes in one scene – but my favourite is the shot of the deserted town square at quarter to eight in the morning when suddenly throngs of people appear from all directions walking slowly towards it (probably have to watch it to see what I mean). The acting is uniformly good, Kevin McCarthy in particular puts in an amazing performance as the ‘last man standing’ - and doesn’t stop running for most of the film which I take my hat off to. I actually lost a couple of pounds just watching him. The extras on my DVD were confined to a mere 6 minute interview with the great man McCarthy, which nevertheless revealed some interesting snippets – Sam Peckinpah actually appears in a very small role (and was the dialogue director for the movie) and also that the original ending changed – it was originally going to end at what is undoubtedly the movies stand out scene, where McCarthy is stood in traffic shouting “THEY’RE HERE ALREADY” and we get a close-up shot of him looking into the camera. I can imagine that watching that particular moment in a cinema in the 50s must have had some effect – especially with the threat of the cold war and communism that the film obviously (or does it?) refer to – and I just wish that the studio had the guts to go with that orginal ending – unfortunately we get the tagged on standard happy ending that just diminishes this great film ever so slightly.Wouldn’t those pods be a great bit of movie memorabilia to have?

THE GIANT CLAW (1957)

Ooooooh, The Giant Claw is a beauty।

Jaw-dropping special effects!

An unforgettable ‘monster’!

Some amazing dialogue…a true classic!

Respect is due to the actors in ‘Giant Claw’. They do a fine job with the script that they’ve been been given. Stevie – the divine Mara Corday ('Tarantula', 'The Black Scorpion') is reliably sassy as ever...



...and then there's the wonderful Jeff Morrow ('This Island Earth', 'The Creature Walks Amongst Us', 'Kronos') as craggy hero pilot ‘Mitch Macafee’.

A truly great name, and it's also good to see that he's not afraid to try for a snog with Mara even though he's a good few years too old for her. Go Mitch!

Apart from ol' Gianty itself, the most enjoyable element of this film is the dialogue:

The General. “Three men reported they saw something. Two of them are now dead.”

Mitch. “That makes me Chief Cook and Bottle Washer in a one-man Bird Watcher's Society!”

Or what about:

Mitch. “Keep your shirt on while I go get my pants.”

Then there's the obligatory scientific explanation that ends with, “You’re both right…but wrong!”

This is a film that deserves to be watched many times. Why not make it part of your yearly Thanksgiving celebrations?



Next time I think I’ll try and count the number of times the word ‘Battleship’ is mentioned – or the number of times a member of the military makes a snidy comment to Mitch for absolutely no reason.

To summarise then – essential viewing 10/10

ATTACK OF THE 50FT WOMAN (1958)

First of all, the good bits - Yvette Vickers। All 5 foot 3 inches of her (35-22-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)). What a little cutey.And another tidbit from those good folks at imdb.com - In his book, Stephen King: On Writing, King cited her as one of his movie matinee idols.Anyway, I'm afraid I was a little disappointed by this movie. The scenes of the 50 foot woman didn't do it for me. In fact, in most shots she just looked to be normal size. Rather than super-imposing her on scenes, I reckon much the same effect could have been got by shooting her from a low angle. But hey, I'm no film director.The highlights for me were the more laughable aspects.That giant hand's a cracker, innit? And when the doc rushes in and shouts 'astounding growth!' - it made me chuckle, and I do recall that line being mentioned somewhere in a previous post.But that was about the extent of my enjoyment. I'm going to have to file this under 'not as good as attack of the giant leeches'.

THE MOLE PEOPLE (1956)

Suggested tagline: "John Agar and friends go pot-holing and inadvertantly wipe out an entire civilisation. Oops!"This film is poor, poor, poor, but worth watching because, in my un-biased opinion, John Agar is always worth watching. The sight of him running around in circles, waving his 'Sword of Ishtar' and trying to get off with the only available female....well, I enjoyed it.The story is perfectly simple - archaeologists discover an ancient mushroom eating albino civilisation and because of their torch are worshipped as emissaries from the goddess Ishtar for a while until they meddle with the albinos enslaving the mole-people and escape with a girl for a sure-fire happy ending, just as long as nobody panics and runs under a wobbly pillar.Most memorable quote by a mile is Agar's "Has anyone ever tried smoking dried mushrooms?"

THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE (1959)

"You'll come out of that laboratory looking just fine, Paul!" Says Jane to her troubled husband.

Sometimes people say things in these movies that are just tempting fate, don't they?And it’s not longer after Jane has come out with that line, that Dr Mark Sinclair explains to Jane that the radiation experiment can’t go on for ONE SECOND longer than is planned. Or Paul will be in big trouble. ‘NOT ONE SECOND!’ he repeats, just in case we don’t get it.The fact that Paul is so keen to get a massive dose of radiation from the same Doc that basically turned him into a walking handbag is also a little silly – hasn’t he seen any sci-fi flicks? Radiation is bad, and so it proves in this case unfortunately.But I’m getting ahead of myself. The story, told in flashback, is a cracker – Jane’s wife Paul does a runner on their honeymoon. Her search takes her deep into swamp territory where she meets a manic Lon Chaney with a hook for a hand – worth the price of the DVD alone.The story that unfolds is probably THE most ridiculous even amongst the cheesiest of monster movies - and the ending is just the best. From the moment Jane and the Doc start tempting fate with the phrases I mentioned above, and a drunk Lon Chaney storms into the lab, the film becomes jaw-droppingly, awesomely, hilariously, erm, stupid. And completely unmissable.In summary, probably THE best alligator-themed monster movie featuring Lon Chaney available. It gets my thumbs up.

ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE (1958)

June Kenney was gorgeous in this, and Earth vs Spider in the same year. A quick search on IMDB.COM doesn't list her in anything after 1962. Any ideas what became of her?...in one scene they're watching another Bert I Gordon movie 'The Amazing Collosal Man'. Any other examples of this kind of 'product placement' in 50s sci-fi? What was the film the kids were watching in The Blob....?I thought that John Hoyt played the part of the doll-maker as being too nice. Maybe it was a subtle sympathetic performance that went over my head, but I'd have preferred Karloff as a mad puppet maker.And the ending was a let down - hit him Agar! Call the police! STICK HIM IN THE MACHINE!!! But oh no, they just walk out the office whistling a merry tune.I really enjoyed this movie actually. John Agar, my fave genre actor does a great job despite being turned into a puppet. The aforementioned June Kenney is gorgeous. The special effects are pretty good, and the plot is ridiculous. 10/10