Another blizzard.
The same blizzard.
Snow, driving snow, nothing but snow - relentless white, white, white stuff seeping into my very consciousness and driving me insane! Hellish white, White WHITE torment!
I need something to take my mind of this never ending horror...
THE STUFF (1985)
Soylent Green meets The Blob in this wonderful horror film directed by the great Larry Cohen (Q: The Winged Serpent etc.).
Or, imagine if Ed Wood Jnr. had tried to turn a John Grisham novel into a film… then you’d have The Stuff!
But what is The Stuff? It’s the new dessert sensation sweeping the world. It looks harmless enough, tastes great – but is it all just a little too good to be true?
Michael Moriarty (a Cohen favourite and rightly so) plays Mo - a good ol’ Southern boy Industrial Spy who isn’t as dumb as he makes out. He’s hired by The Stuff's competition to discover the secret of The Stuff, and so teams up with the beautiful Nicole who works for the Stuff's advertising campaign (and what a great campaign it is, with a song so catchy and addictive you won’t be able to get enough of it. Very apt), and a young kid Jason, who is the only one (for some reason) that has twigged the secret of The Stuff and has escaped (by pretending to eat shaving foam - don’t ask) from his Stuff-crazed family, including a spookily-eyebrowed brother who is a dead ringer for a vamped up Danny Glick. More than enough reason to run from any home.
Oh, and there’s also Chocolate Chip Charlie as Himself.
Our small team of good guys go investigating, and have a few close calls with The Stuff before eventually teaming up with Pauly from Goodfellas, who plays Colonel Malcolm Grommett Spears, leader of the free resistance – and a bit of a nutter - down in Atlanta.
A thrilling final showdown sees Mo, Pauly and co. do battle with The Stuff and various nameless Stuff henchmen. Spoiler ahead – they win! The world (the U.S.) is free!
The Stuff (the film, not The Stuff itself) is wonderful. A biting satire on the nature of rampant consumerism if you’re being generous, a completely ridiculous b-movie if you’re not. Either way it’s absolutely essential viewing. But be warned! One sitting may not be enough!!! < Cue The Stuff advertising song. Repeat to fade>
