THE MIST (full review) 2007

Somebody (possibly Trotsky, although I have my doubts) once said that any civilised society is only three square meals away from revolution. Well, it’s not even that long if you’re in 'The Mist' – this lot seem to go ‘Lord of the Flies’ on each other’s asses within the space of an extended coffee break.

Being trapped in a supermarket, attacked by giant bugs and nasties… it’s a situation that gets you thinking, "How would I cope?" And I’ve decided that I’d cope very well, using #1 in my list of Horror Safety Tips, which reads, “Hide.” For there are very few situations in Horror movies where hiding is not the best option - take 'Night of the Living Dead' for example – if everyone had followed Mr. Cooper’s advice and hid in the cellar, they’d have been fine.

In the case of the supermarket in ‘The Mist’, the solution is simple. I’d have made a little cubby hole behind the beans in the canned food aisle, took in a pillow, a portable TV, some cans of beer and maybe some porn, and stayed put until I got rescued. No need to make dumb-ass ‘heroic’ excursions to the Pharmacy next door for an elastoplast and get everyone killed.

As for the film itself, well, filming a lot of panicky people with a handheld camera does not mean you’ve made a post 9/11 allegory. It just means you’re not very original. And let’s talk about the CGI monsters - goddamn, they’re awful. In fact, has there ever been a decent CGI monster? King Kong? Gollum? Not for me, thanks. I want my monsters to be made out of something with more substance than a few computer pixels. And so too, apparently, did the actors in The Mist, as they struggled laughably to react to something that wasn’t there.

The Mist harkens back to the Golden era of Stephen King films i.e. when they weren’t very good, and were more often than not taken from short stories and stretched out way too long to make a movie. Resulting in the jarring timescales that I’ve mentioned above. The Mist should either have been a half hour ‘Tales from the Crypt’ TV episode, or a TV series. As a 2 hour movie, it simply doesn’t work.

And the lead actor Thomas Jayne doesn’t help. He’s wooden, lacks personality, delivers his lines without any feeling at all, and WORST OF ALL bears an uncannily resemblance to Christopher Lambert. Where did they find this guy? Marcia Gay Harden as baddie-cult-leader-madwoman Mrs. Carmody is wonderful, but even so, this film remains firmly in Maximum Overdrive territory.

And the ending… the ‘controversial ending’… what did YOU think? If you laughed out loud and then thought “Christ, why didn’t he just WAIT?”, then join the club - you’re on the same wavelength as me!


  1. read you loud and clear good buddy. we're so on the same wavelength. there are some movies where you watch them shut off your brain and just go with it. but when yer making said movies you don't get to do that.

    1/2 the movie involves cgi. spend more than 1/2 a dollar on the cgi. some movies have bad special effects sure. but sometimes they're bad but have a charm to them that almost makes them forgiveable. not this one.

    and that scene at the end? uuggh. you can see it coming and you figure they won't do it. then bang bang bang bang NOOOOOO! and they do it. i personally would have waited until at least the windshield got smashed in by a giant cricket. not two minutes after running out of gas. sheeesh.

  2. not 100% but I think it was napolean and not trotsky. Got this movie to watch tonight so won't comment more til I ve seen it.

  3. oh and the cubby hole idea- tried in Dawn Of The Dead with limited success. Hiding still one of the better optioms though.

  4. Great points in your review... I like your sarcasm a lot! I will have to say that the holy-roller lady in the movie was so annoying to me. I wanted to kill her myself!!! Good post. Thanks for checking out my blog and being a follower... much appreciated!

  5. I'm trying to cut down on my sarcasm actually. But it's so tempting...

  6. OK, can I tell you what a chicken I am about scary movies? A total wuss.

    But your blog's too cool to pass up...

    :^) Anna

  7. Having read the story, I was expecting the original ending, so no, I did NOT see that one coming. It definitely shook me up, tho.

    Try looking at this movie a different way. The bugs are not the real monsters. The people are. Look what they become under dire conditions.

    I actually cheered when Ms. Carmody got shot.

    And I have to disagree with you on the "wooden" performance of Thomas Jane. That sob he emits at the 'surprise ending' choked me up.

    If anything, Stephen King (and his movies) have been wrongly labeled as horror. King is a master at character development. He creates such strong characters that when one of them dies if really affects you (well, it affects ME anyway).

    His most successful movies have always been the ones that focus on his characters (i.e. Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile).

    But I DO like your cubby hole idea ;)

  8. I have to disagree on this one - I enjoyed this movie and I thought that the ending was great!


  9. I absolutely loved this movie, and found it both frightening and compelling.

    That said, your review was hysterical.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  10. seen the movies, thumbs up from me. It really shows the psychological thrill that might happen to someone when facing a dead end. I mean the decision to shoot themselves at the end. and the realize of there's a chance to survive after he kills the three other people in the car.
    this movies also shows perfect pattern of someone personality in a life threatening situation.

  11. When putting someone out of his or her misery, you don't "just wait". Waiting could and probably would have had them all melted by acid, eaten alive or ripped to shreds at any moment. That or they would have died of starvation and thirst. A quick bullet is preferable.

    Seeing the giant, after all that had happened, his reaction was perfectly realistic and what any empathic parent / person would do to a loved one.

    That the gate would close (I'm assuming the aliens needed the mist like we need oxygen) would have seemed too good to be true, at that point.

    Aweful CGI? Nonsense.



    Where can I see monster prosthetics and machines more realistic than the CGI above?